Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
