It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
