Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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