A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
