what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
