Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
