mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
