I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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