And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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