Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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