Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize