I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
