Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize