Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
