did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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