Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
