No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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