HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
