is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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