when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
