i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
