I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
