Please, let me fuck your mom
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize