better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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