Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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