it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
