I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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