1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This can only be settled by a dance off.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
