Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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