I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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