so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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