i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize