I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
