We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize