He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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