there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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