we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
