It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
