i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
