no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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