in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
