i think my mom watched the whole time
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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