and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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