Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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