he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
