He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize