thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize