oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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