yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
