I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You have to summon your inner elephant
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
