the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
organizing the empties. That sober.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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