Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize