Who wears a wallet chain?!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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