I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
