We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
