I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
