Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
