I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
