he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
