is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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