im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
