drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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